I always said I would never forget my emotions. he told on me 'Once you change, everything you know slowly fades, until it's nothing to you.' But I didn't believe him and look where I am now. Chained here like an animal, no family, and memories slowly fade. Now I find myself second guessing, 'Was I human? Or did this beast lay dormant inside me, just waiting for the right moment, until he would release it. Another Wasted Summer 100 years earlier "I still don't see why I have go." I put bags in the bed of the truck. "I cook, I clean, I can stay home by myself." "I know, you've been taking care of me since your mom died." Dad laughed. "But I thought this would be a good bonding experience." I followed him sliding into the truck. "Bonding? You call going out to the woods and staying in a wooden shack for two months bonding?" I rolled my eyes. "Honestly, I would hate to know what your's and mom's first date was like." This was the way it starts, it's been the same for the past three summers. Dad and I get stuck in a car together for I don't know how many hours driving some where I don't even know existed. I know he means well but he always say bonding, and the only thing ever said in the car is when we're fighting over the radio. Then when we got to where we where going I go lock myself in my room. The only reason I agree to go on theses trips with him is because I can hear mom's voice saying 'Now Monica you should give your father a chance.' So I try but but it always seemed like another summer was wasted away. For the most part the ride was enjoyable. I spent most of my time staring out the window, the last thing I remember seeing was an open field of lush green grass full of grazing horses. That must of been when I fell asleep. "Hey kid, we're here." I felt him hit me on the shoulder. Lifting my head off the door I rubbed my eyes'. "What do you mean we're hear, it's a dead end." I was stating the obvious since a sign in front of us read 'Dead end' "I know, we're hiking the rest of the way." "Great." There was some excitement in my voice. I liked hiking and the outdoors, but I didn't know if I was ready. I did just wake up after all. "Ready kid?" Picking his bag back up off the ground Dad threw it over his shoulder. "Dad, I have a name you know." "I know, I picked it out." He gave me that smug grin he knows I hate. "A real name, could you use it?" I hated it when he called me kid. It was like I was Just another person. It's not like was wanted special treatment, just use my name, and maybe put the toilet seat down, but he's a man, what can you do? "Isn't it beautiful?" He looked up at the sky taking in a breath. Climbing up on a fallen tree I looked around. "Sure if you like heat." I felt sweat trickle down the back of my neck. But unlike most girls I didn't mind. Ever since seventh grade I've played all kinds of sports. "So can you make it the rest of the way?" "Your the old one.." Some time dad tried to hard to be my friend, and be funny, and it comes across stupid. But if I laugh I'd be lying, but if I don't it will be rude. So I did the only thing I can and say something back. So then I didn't have to laugh...or be rude. "So are you ready to go?" He stretched his arms and legs. "You the one that wanted to stop and rest." Jumping off the fallen tree I started walking ahead. "Mon." I hated that name to. 'Mon' was not my name either, it was probably the best I could get out of him, but still. "It's Monica." I knew there was attitude in my voice, but I didn't try to hide it either. "Would you just listen to me?" I just wanted to get this hike over with , was that to much to ask. "Can't you at least give me a chance?" "I'm here right?" My father and I never had a good relationship. He only got into the whole father daughter time when mom died. "That's not what I mean." He gave me a 'daddies sorry' look, but what ever he said after that went through one ear out the other when something caught my attention. The bushes to my right shook a bit. Common sense would tell you it was an animal, but when you've had a feeling some one had been watching you and following you this whole time, it get's hard to shake off, "Mon, are you even listening?" How could that not catch my attention. Mon, I don't know what was worse, Mon or Kid "Like I said, I'm here right?" Adjusting my back [pack on my shoulders I turned following the trail. "And don't call me Mon, Donny." I knew that was a low blow. But it's important to him that I call him dad; so he say, and my name is important to me. We walked form early afternoon until early evening, and I was happy when it was finally over, mosquitos were starting to bite. "Damn bugs." They were going to eat me before I got chance to eat dinner. "Mon!" "What Don!" He was really bugging me now. "Watch you language." "What ever." I sweated at a bug. The tone in his voice was making me feel bad now. Some time I hated having a concessions, but it kept me out of trouble. "Isn't it beautiful?" "Yeah sure, if you like green." I wasn't really sure what he was talking about, I was still swatting at bugs. "Not the trees, the house." By the sound of his voice I was hoping it was really pretty, boy did I get a shock. "Sure, if you like wood." When I said a wooden shack, I was over exaggerating...or so I thought. In front of me was a house made of wood. But if you look at it from a certain angel, it was amazing....it was still standing. "So what do you think?" He looked at me with hopeful eyes. Now was a time to lie. "Well." I took in a breath. "It has a porch." Well, I tried, but that was the only thing coming out. "You don't like it." He sighed. "No, it's fine really-" "Why do you lie to me." This made me stop what I was saying. "Mon if you don't like it just tell me, I'll never get to know you that way." "Damn it quit calling me that! My name is Monica, not Kid not Mon Monica! A good way to try to get to know me is to call me by my name for one. And two, talk to me don't just spring these trips up on me! This is the third summer I've wasted with you!" I couldn't believe I just said that. Did I want to, no. Do I regret it, no. I may not get along with Donny, but I wouldn't want to hurt him. "If that's how you feel, why didn't you just tell me?" He was so calm about it, but I knew those words hurt him. "Let's just go inside, we're both tired." I walked toward what would be called our house for the next wasted summer. 
Darkness Beyond Why must I wake up to him banging on my door? "What Donny!" "Wake up we have things to do!" "We," I emphasized "do not have anything to do, and I'm awake!" Throwing the covers over my head I turned my back to the window where the sun was shining through. "This place really needs curtains." "Then get up and get ready, and wear something light." "Go away!" I wasn't much of a morning her person and I know it showed. "I don't have anything to do out in the woods. I should be at basketball camp right now!" That was another thing. I've missed basketball for three summers too. "You do if you want to eat tonight." "I'll starve." "It's fish." We're going fishing." He knew I loved fish, that was one of my favorite foods, and I never minded spending the day by water. "You can even go swimming if you want. You won't be ready for sports when you go back to school if you sit in your room all summer." I hated to admit it but he was right. Every time I go on these trips with him and sit in my room I have a heard time when volleyball tryouts come around. "Fine." Throwing the covers back I stood stretching my stiff muscle. Twisting my body I felt my back bone pop at least five different time in different places. Walking to my bags I pulled out my swim suit and short and went to the bathroom. It was a bit hot out today so there was not doubt that I would get in the water. Hopefully even get a tan, it was about time. Like mom I was naturally tan, but when winter came we got really light and we hated it. So when summer cam again we would always go to the pool together and tan. I always seem to smile at that memory. "Come on don't take for ever!" I heard Donny call from downstairs. "Shut up!" Walking down that hall I saw him come around that corner from the kitchen looking up at me. "It's not like there any boys down there." He grinned. "Maybe that's the problem." This time I couldn't help but smile. We had out moments when we got along, but those were when he wasn't trying to be a dad. "What would your mother say if she heard you talking like that?" "If you only knew." I knew exactly what she would say. Something along the lines of. 'Good luck' or 'Go get 'em' or she would have a big smile on her face. "Are we going?" "Your in a happier mood today." Donny smiled. "A good nights rest will do you good." I could feel it, I had more bounce in my step, and a smile on my face like I was in school with my friends. The sun was out and the warm feeling it put in my face gave me a tingling feeling inside. I knew it would only get better when I was by the lake side. The loud rumble of dad's truck must have startled the birds as the flew from the trees. "Do you really need such a loud truck?" "Leave Betty alone, she's getting old." What was it with men and naming their truck? If he was going to name it, at least be original. And if you could use the trucks name, can't use your daughter's name? "Ah finally." Running out to the dock I stretched out my body feeling the warm breeze flowing in from that water. Letting out a sigh I sat down my feet hanging over the edge. Today really was a beautiful day, the sun was out, the cloud looked like cotton candy, the birds were singing, and I was by water. It was wonderful. But still, that lingering feeling that some one was watching me, it wouldn't go away. "You alright Mon?" "Call me that again and your going for a swim." I don't care how long it takes, he will call me by my name, no nicknames. "Why do you hate nick names so much?" That was a stupid question, he's a father shouldn't he already now this? "Because it's not my name." "But your friends have all types of different names for you. You don't seem to mind them." "Because," I felt rage surge through my body. "my friends we're there for me since elementary." "I see." "I'm going for a swim." Sliding off my shorts I dove into the lake. Why now of all times, I did just fine with out him before, I could live on my own if I wanted. The further I swam the deeper it became, this was something that you would expect but it still creeped me out. Maybe it was because of that feeling that some one was watching. Breaking through to the surface I took in a breath, how long was I under? Looking around there was nothing but water, no Donny. Turning back around there was a rocky shore with an entrance, but beyond that, only darkness. "Donny!" I called over again, but I got no answer. I could feel the coming pain of my muscles cramping. "I didn't stretched before I swam." I was so caught up in what Donny was saying that I forgot. "I'll rest here for a bit." I figure if I rest here, get my strength back, go back the way I came and I'd be alright. Starting toward that shore I felt something grab my foot taking my under. I called out for Donny, but still no answer. I could see the surface of the water, the sun glistening just beyond it. I tried to reach for it but was taken further away. Soon it wasn't even visible at all. The murky waters around me held no life, no sound, it was still. And this pressure in my chest, if this what it's like to drown? "Monica." I could hear some one calling my name. "Monica." It was a women. "Remember." Mother? The darkness of the water around me clouded my vision. "Never forget." It was mother I could never, I would never forget my mother's voice. Then she was in front of me, there in the water? "Now wake up." I tried calling our for her but my lungs became full of water. The pressure in my chest was growing. 'This hurts' That was the last thing I remember thinking before I saw a hand reach in. "Monica." His voice was calm, and silky. "Take my hand." With the last ounce of my strength I reached up taking his hand. That is when my world went black. |